Questions answered: How can you tell if someone is gay?

Recently, I was asked in the comments to another post, “How can you tell if someone is gay? How can I find gay girls?” I have thought about it since then, and the only absolutely true answer is, “You only know 100% for sure if you ask them.”

Now, that requires some courage, I know! Not everyone is ready for that, and it wouldn’t always be appropriate in every context. You can also try and rely on your gaydar, which has been proven to work about 60% of the time.  Fairly decent odds there!

But here are 7 ways to increase your odds if you are trying to find Maximum Lesbian Density:

  1. Meetups in your area: Most cities and towns have specific meetups for gays and lesbians. Some are for women only, some are centered around shared interests (there’s one for hiking in my town and another one for gay parents), but all are pre-defined in terms of who you will meet there.
  2. Gay community centers: Some cities have community centers that cater specifically to the LGBT crowd. Our local center offers yoga classes, movie nights, community forums, and other fun activities. Look online to see what your city offers.
  3. Pride parades and events: Pride takes place in June in my city, but it happens at different times in different places. Do a search to find out when it takes place in your town, and then make plans to attend! There is usually lots of music, food, and fun, as well as informational booths. You’re bound to make a new gay friend at Pride!
  4. Facebook groups: For those who prefer virtual spaces, Facebook provides many places to hang out. You can look for lesbian-specific groups where every girl will be neatly identified for you!
  5. Gay bars: The first place most people think of is still a good place to meet gay girls. And you get to support a local business while you’re there–a win-win!
  6. Welcoming churches or other faith groups: Many progressive churches and other faith groups attract LGBT folks, and some even have groups that work specifically on LGBT issues.
  7. Other events: Concerts, lectures, and other events that usually draw an LGBT crowd will up your chances of finding your people. Find these events via your local newspaper or online.

Let me know if you can think of others places to meet gay girls, and leave me a comment about it! I’d love to hear about your experiences with finding community on your coming out journey.